under water, over seas
by Luna Afra Evans
to drown, to swim
from fire to freezing
from secret to desire
are you even in the moment
when others don’t hear you?
i surely am not.
there is something freeing
about this.
the first time
i knew who i really was
i was still a child
are you even taking a breath
when others don’t feel you?
i surely lack the oxygen.
i kept my head under water
so I never had to reach the shore are you even moving
when others don’t see you?
i surely can swim.
(i dive so i don’t have to choose my coast) from fleeing to freeing
i was afraid of drowning
for the longest time
and now i cannot
get enough
of your ocean
let me dive
deep
let me live
forever
in you
- let us swim together
home is where shame is not
where i am from
my friends and i would run into the sea
the darkness
is the fabric on our bodies like silk on our skin
i see her shoulders from afar his head turning
lebensbejahend
(saying yes to life)
towards the sheer endlessness the moonlight is caressing our faces
painting intricate patterns of light in nature
oh, to be young
i smile as the cold water gently touches my breasts no weight, just floating no discomfort, just flying oh, to exist
in a body
close to other bodies
without shame
all the burdens of the everyday left alone on the shore
with childlike laughter
the water is our playground in between decisions
the most gentle collisions you have ever seen
we lost count
we lost track of time
under the stars
i hold you close
you hold me tight
we felt a piece of forever in that night
dating on the line
first
it is the precious state of loneliness
lovingly alone, it is
a particular time to
perpetuate
penetrate
peculiar
ideas
second
is the desperate state of clinginess
crucially hiding in a
search bar
all tabs are open to
suffocate
sexualize
separate
ideas
first
it is the shameful state of aftermath
confusedly recollect, it is
a reaction to rejection, to
reconcile
reinvent
Revolutionize
your intricate bouquet of
things
your bouquet of being
all
your(s)
ideas
something like a body, not yet a temple
body
this is morphing
where’s the morphine
to numb
what’s left from
suffering
it is not
pain yet
it is pain
fully understood that
one can live somewhere
that is not their home
yet i wonder
do i just have to renovate
what’s left?
“your body is a temple” etc.Inc. but what if it feels
like a wreck
what if you don’t even
know what
your architecture looks like
seemingly
everybody just
picks something from the
catalog
something they admire
or others like, at least
what if i tried
and still do not know
tricky to live let alone
to invite someone in
when you don’t even know
what your home is supposed to be or even what it looks like