I think that our generation’s perception of sex is, aside from personal experiences, largely informed by porn. And porn is not real. Generally, porn promotes a male fantasy rather than enactments of sexual acts that fulfil or satisfy anyone other than cis men. The dangers of this are numerous, but in this context, what can happen is that sex becomes viewed as some sort of crazy, intricate performance by those of us consuming porn that does not appeal to our sexual preferences. This makes sex seem a lot stranger than it has to be. It can also manifest itself in the sex we have personally engaged in if our sexual partners have been influenced by porn that they have consumed. When you think about even the most vanilla sex in abstraction and from a distance, it can of course still feel like a weird concept. But I think that if you’re engaging in sexual acts with a partner that you trust in an environment in which you feel comfortable, things will unfold somewhat naturally and they won’t seem so strange or scary. The sex may not resemble the sexual acts you have seen in porn or other media sources, but it will be real and honest—and therefore all the more powerful.
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